Drunky watchib starwars with my roomies. Awesome
Spiral stairs and typing whrn drunk = difficult. Yay autocorrect
We received an angry anonymous note on our mailbox about the party last fortnight. Guessing we would have received it sooner if I checked the mailbox more frequently.
It’s funny now but I would have freaked out if it had been the day after.
I’m so tired and worn out that I’m kinda glad that my ~friend isn’t coming over tonight
It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.
Boys are confusing
I just give up already
It may be nap time
Pretty sure someone committed suicide in the shopping center I work at. I’m pretty freaked out.
"We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’ “Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’"
Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via wantonmasochist)
I’m planning a Mexican feast for our family dinner night tomorrow and wow having flatmates is fun
I was going to complain about how tired I am but then I realised that I’ve made more money in the past four days than I would have in an ordinary fortnight.
I ate a kebab and now I feel sick. Oops.
My work Christmas party is tonight but I don’t want to go so I’m gonna flaunt my pretty dress then leave after an hour.
I’m having lots of feels and the codral isn’t working
I accidentally bought condensed tomato soup instead of normal tomato soup. Damn it.
I dob’t know where Anna is and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like being home alone